Dear 16 year old me:

Dear 16 year old me:

Although you don't exactly know who you are right now, feeling lost doesn't last forever. 

You'll meet new people, say goodbye to a lot and have some high on the list regrets. 

The regrets you do have, won't end up out weighing the accomplishments & you'll be more and more proud of yourself as time goes on. 

Right now you feel secluded, but freedom is never as far away as you feel it is. What you want is as far out as you reach your finger tips. 

Right now you can't see God, but circumstances will re-introduce Him to you. In an even deeper love, and higher satisfaction than you've ever felt before, and that's just the beginning. 

In the next two years, you'll fall hard, and you'll also give all of what you've got to people who can't give you half of who they don't even know they are. 

In another two years from now, that fact will be consigned to oblivion. 

 

Although, never settle for a penny less than you deserve on a single thing: friendships, boyfriends, money you earn, grades you recieve, content you create. Credit always deserves to be given where credit is due. 

Always look both ways, you never know what could come crashing through your intersection of life. 

Never be afraid to cast your opinion, at the age of 16 it's easy to be misunderstood and undermined & you deserve a voice, shout it loud and shout it clear. (seriously, stop mumbling; people have a hard time understanding you) 

Slow down when you speak too, repeating yourself three times doesn't become fun, it really doesn't. 

Two years from now, you'll be a whole new version of yourself, but that girl won't come easy, and she will still face hard times. She'll just face them easier than she did before. 

Confidence is a key to a lot of different success' and facing your anxieties head on can be the hardest and easiest thing you'll ever do for yourself. But cockiness is easy to reach too, always stay humble and be grateful for what you have, and who you are. 

If I was to list off all the things I wish I could've warned you about when I was 16, this could've turned into a book, maybe it might. You're as bright as the sun. And believe that. 

                          xoxo 

               18 year old Victoria 

Testimony: Patience, Praise and Path

As life happens around us, it's hard for us to see God when we're not open to looking for Him. 

When we believe that what we have is enough, God seems to come through; showing us that we deserve even more than what we think is enough. 

Months ago I was really stuck, feeling like I wanted a fresh start in my job. I was sick and tired of the same thing, the same people & feeling like I wasn't appreciated or needed. So as a Christian, I began to pray. Knowing God would satisfy my soul. I would never have to be afraid, because one thing remained. Him. 

I would pray often enough to feel like God wasn't listening to my heart, so I stopped for a time period & would just think about it on and off & hope that God would hear my heart. 

I had never felt so angered in where I was at in my job, and was becoming less willing to work hard, and would often slack (in my own personal opinion) 

When my boss reached out to me asking me to switch stores because I was needed at another location, I didn't want to, but when I said yes, I didn't realize that today I would feel the way I do. Through me changing locations, God was curing the first ache in my heart that craved change, and a different job that I had tried to get for quite a while. That was His first step. 

But the feeling of graciousness and thankfulness did not arrive until yesterday. (After all this happened) 

I worked the make shift, and for me that was the most depressing time in my life, although it was short lived I knew that I needed out of there & was feeling more stuck and more depressed than I ever had, even more than when I was working at the other store. 

I got off of the night shift by praying for Gods grace through asking to be taken off them, and put back to my store (of 3 years) 

I was taken off the shift, but I wasn't transferred back and that upset me, but it wasn't a tragedy and I would live with it while I knew God was teaching me patience. (Psalm 37:7-9, Romans 12:12) 

Three months went by, and I was still feeling this ache in my heart "to go home". I wasn't seeing God, because I wasn't willing to look for Him. While I was busy complaining, God was placing on my heart this feeling of rejoicing to Him. I began to show up to work everyday not working in unhappiness or anger at my manager or co-workers and my environment, I went to work for God, I worked for Him and praised Him through my work, at the job I wasn't happy at & didn't feel appreciated or heard. I worshiped Him because He loves me and I knew He was on my side, and not against me. (Romans 8:31) 

Another month nearly went by, and I praised God with all that I had, and all that I was at my job. Meanwhile unknowingly growing my patience. 

Two days ago, I was told it was time for me to go back to my original store location. I jumped up in my seat, and felt the ache in my heart leave immediately. 

While we're busy being selfish, and not realizing that when we feel doors aren't being opened, Gods just laying out the path in order to satisfy your soul. 

He is always, on your side. Worship Him, because He loves you, and not to get anything in return. He died for you, simply live for Him. And he will satisfy your soul. 

                         xoxo 

                       Victoria 

Growing Up

Growing up sucks. 

Im going to get as cliche as it gets, and say that when you're younger you just want to be older.. make your own rules, set your own times & go where you want to go, and then you get 90% of that when you get older and all you want is to be younger, to have your child set of wonder, and excitement & freedom and innocence. As if it's all taken away when you get older, thing is; you have control over how you look at life, on your relationship with Jesus Christ, on your child like sense of wonder, and ultimately your mind set. 

Part of growing up, involves your spiritual growing & that can be a hard journey to face as well. Because as you're growing older, you get more aware of what your savior did for you, you become aware of everything and thoughts and time and excuses get in the way of how much love you show Jesus.. 

Over time and arguing with yourself, you begin to see that Jesus is The Lord of your life, and He guides you through every single season, never hesitating to carry you through it, and letting you learn what it's like to rely souly on Him. 

Knowing that this year is one of the biggest years of my life is scary, I've applied to college, gone full time, really began to save, set new life goals, and in the meantime I've grown up so much in the past year, having to learn from mistakes, seek The Lord and learn of His love for me, and exactly what He did on that cross for yours and mines lives. And I love Him so much. 

“Jesus replied: ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.'” (Matthew 22:37-38) 

To seek The Lord and find Him within your heart, is an incredible feeling and overwhelmes you when you come encountered with Him as your Holy Father. 

To know Jesus and grow spiritually as you grow up, seek Him and you will find. 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7 

  

                          xoxo 

                         Victoria