Dear Mom & Dad

Thank you. Thank you for getting me this far, thank you for putting up with my quirks & faults, my tears and my smiles. Thank you for being too hard on me, thank you for listening to me & most of all thank you for letting me speak my mind.

Many people are not as privileged as I am to grow up in a household where they have a voice, but I was blessed enough to have you two as parents, and I am blessed enough to be heard.

Thank you for never letting us open a Christmas gift early, thank you for playing hide and seek in the dark and scaring the living day lights out of me, thank you for squeezing my hand at Disney World daddy, and thank you for rubbing & patting my back until I fell asleep mommy. 

Thank you for showing me such Godly attributes to live by, and teaching me to love the God that created me, and thank you for having amazing talks on my self worth and my insecurities- whether it be at 3 AM, or on a car ride home. Thank you. 

Thank you for allowing me to choose the school I wanted to go to, you have never rushed us to make big decisions, and never held us back from our dreams. 

Now you're doing the most difficult thing parents do, you're letting me go. 

You're planning going away showers, buying me plates and towels and cups and you're getting a second job to help with our school expenses and buying me textbooks; even though in doing all that- you're helping me leave. 

Before I go and you are no longer one room over, or even one city over- I want to let you know I'll be okay. 

Don't doubt the way you've raised me, and have faith in who you've taught me to be. Through every single day I've been in this house, you've taught me at least one thing a day. I know who I am in Jesus Christ, and who I want to portray to others that I am. Don't doubt the person I have become and what I stand for.

I want you to know, I will miss you like I've never missed anyone, I will get home sick and I will most likely cry myself to sleep at least one night- I will call you when I've had a bad day and ask you to talk till I feel better; even though your not in the next room; I will always need you. both of you. forever. 

But... I will also love the freedom. From the time I was able to know what freedom was I haven't been able to wait to have it. The first few weeks I will be thriving off of it. But know that it's just temporary, and don't take it personally at all. 

Although this may be the end of one era, know that this is the beginning of an incredible one and the world awaits us all. 

I want you to explore, find new things, make new foods, have fun without me. I want to hear about all of it when I come back! (but not too much fun.. miss me a little) 

I will never let a day pass where I don't work my hardest because the two of you have never taken a break to not do that for us. 

Thank you for loving me through my mistakes, and the ones I have yet to make. 

I will be okay, as nervous as I am. I will. and I love you to the moon & back. ❤️🌙

What Inside Out Taught Me About My Christian Walk

You've probably all heard of it by now, and if you haven't- step out from under the rock ;) 

I'm kidding, so if you don't know there is a brand new Pixar movie that hit theatres this past week (June 19th) taking you inside of characters brains, including the "main brain" as a young girl by the name of Riley, who moves from Minnesota to San Fransico at the age of eleven. 

She thought she had everything figured out in life, including her friends, sports,

family, home living, most of all who she was. 

This to me is where God stepped in. 

We're constantly thinking we have every little thing about our lives figured out. What we like, who our friends are, our plans for the future and our favourite bible verse. But it's crazy how God changes our hearts and our minds through time, without us even really realizing it. 

I mean, could you sit here today and tell me you're still into watching Teletubbies and eating the ham sandwich your grandma made you? probably not. 

Let's not all deny we could still toss out some Barbie Dolls and rock her a new outfit though. (never let your childhood die) 

MY POINT BEING! 

We change. whether we like it or not. And so can the way we look at things. Our faith, other people, ourselves, the list goes on. 

Often times, like in Inside Out we go through experiences that shape who we are in the future and eatch experience becomes a part of our personality.

Riley's five " personality islands" are: Hockey Island, Family Island, Honesty Island, Friendship Island & Goofball island (my personal favourite) 

What experiences have you gone through where God has shaped you into the person that you are today? 

Everything Riley went through provided her with these islands, so let me ask you. 

What are your 5 Godly islands of personality? 

How has God created you in His image, and what's parts of you has he especially made to honour him with? Do your five islands honor the God who created them? 

My five islands would have to be... 

Makeup Island, Family Island, Loyalty Island, Music Island, & Accepting Island. 

And as crazy as it may sound, I believe I use all of those islands to worship my King with.

I hope you worship God with all that you are from your personality islands, and give all of what you can, and understand our islands may change, but our God never does. And let us worship Him with who we are, and who he's continuously creating us to be. 

Matthew 6:25-34

Psalms 139:13-16 

Loneliness (Intro)

Hi, I'm Victoria. I prefer being called my short form, Toria. I am eighteen years old, I love photography, my family and best of all... I'm a Christian.

From the time I was little I loved being alone, I loved reading books in my room after school and before bed, I loved playing with my barbies and having my own world in each of my actives that was my own. 

I've realized mostly recently that because of lack of imagination, I'm more lonely.

I still thoroughly enjoy being alone. Whether that be watching YouTube videos in my room for a few hours or going on a two hour drive by myself... I love it. 

But, we are never actually alone... and for me, there's two parts to that statement. 

As The Lord has led my walk through life, I've had up and down seasons in my life.

I've had times where I'm on fire for God and times where I'd rather just sleep or occupy my time in other ways, ways that have nothing to do with God.

God has never left me through any of those times, the hot times and the Luke warm; even though those "should never exist" we all know that they do.

I've come to see through time by myself, it's so much more enjoyable to have Him to talk to.. being lonely stems from lack of God, lack of prayer, lack of effort and lack of intimacy with Him. 

I find everyone this generation always needs to be entertained, always needs something to do, but through my deep breathes, I've seen God show me comfort, and that once I invest myself into time with him instead of YouTube or sleep, I feel so much more fulfilled and  comforted.  

The second part is imagination, but I'll talk about that more soon ;) 😏😂

1 Peter 5:7: "Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 

Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Dating

As im only 18 years old, I haven't seen the whole world, I haven't felt every feeling, I don't always know what to say and Im still scared of the dark some days.

But as I've come to realize, I know what I want to expect, I know what I deserve, I know what's best for me & who I am as a person & who I belong to &, to me that's so much more important than always knowing everything. 

When it comes to dating relationships, im far from an expert & im not going to beat around the bush and say I've had (a) good past relationship(s), im also not going to make that plural, because it isn't in my story.

(disclaimer, im honest here) 

At the age of 16, I was in love with the idea of love. When it came knocking at my door, I opened it at the first sign of interest. (tip number one:) don't fall for the first one that shows interest in you. 

Settling because that's what's easiest at the time, will not be the easiest in the long run. Your heart can hurt in ways you haven't even fathomed yet.

As the past two years have gone by, The Lord has changed my heart and my views on dating relationships, as tough as they can be to get over, they're also a blessing in disguise. (yes I've tweeted that before, I do that) tip number two: ending one thing, doesn't mean the end of everything. 

Basically, I know that relationships can suck, and I also know how easy it can be to fall in love with love.

Guys are these crazy mix of emotions that we never see coming. But (tip number 3:) we also have to remember who God set us out for, and that He has our hearts in mind through it all.  

When you're dating someone, did you know that they're not actually "yours"? You don't belong to someone until marriage, so before that I hope you feel similar to this: 

I want to be able to look at the person that has married my ex and say "I took care of him, i prepared him for true love and i honoured him through our experiences in our dating relationship" 

I personally would never want to be the reason for somebody to have insecurities in their next relationship(s). I would never want to have someone's heart in my hand, and by choice: crush it. 

You have a choice to make in life and that is to honor others with all of your heart, or lay in a field of dishonour and disrespect.

Because of a past I fear to repeat, I have fears that have followed me until now. Until God has placed on my heart a renewing of my soul and an opened new door to a field of understanding; showing me that one persons non-respect for you doesn't mean that another/ the next person you're with will be the same way. 

They're really not all the same, if you listen to God and know that He has the timing down pat & knows how your heart feels and is honouring it. Your side of the relationship is patience. 

 

I dream of a day, where men look at women as genuine beauty and not objects to gawk and pest at. 

I see a time and a change where men love and respect their wife's, merrily for who they are and not what they can do in a bedroom.

I pray for a time where exes with bad history and a scary past can learn to forgive and talk as friends. I mean you loved each other deeply at one point, why is it an issue to talk with them as a real friend? friendship is possible and it's a positive, not a negative. 

I dream of a day where men respect women's decisions and are by their side when they make them. 

But more than anything, I pray for the men of this world to be honest with women. 

And to see that until they have a legal ring on their finger, they do not belong to you and you are to lead them to the next person with honor and respect and being proud that you guided them through that season of life, allowing you to be friends for years to come. 

I wish this was the case for me, and many others. But that's not always the case, sadly. 

     Respecting decisions and honouring             

             hearts with a Godly love. 

     Oh Jesus I pray for that. all of that. 

Honesty Hour

As im only 18 years old, I haven't seen the whole world, I haven't felt every feeling, I don't always know what to say and Im still scared of the dark some days.

But as I've come to realize, I know what I want to expect, I know what I deserve, I know what's best for me & who I am as a person & who I belong to &, to me that's so much more important than always knowing everything. 

When it comes to dating relationships, im far from an expert & im not going to beat around the bush and say I've had good past relationships, im also not going to make that plural, because it isn't in my story. (disclaimer, im honest here) 

Im tired of being afraid to write a blog about love, because of being afraid of opinions of multiple people, and rumors that could start or any other 10th grade drama that at this point, isn't what im trying to create. 

I write these blogs to get out my heart and through that I hope that God can help change your lives through me by giving you an entirely new perspective on situations and happenings in your life. I pray that through the blog that will be posted shortly after this one, you can see my heart and let it help heal yours as The Father has done to mine. 

                     Thank you

Dear 16 year old me:

Dear 16 year old me:

Although you don't exactly know who you are right now, feeling lost doesn't last forever. 

You'll meet new people, say goodbye to a lot and have some high on the list regrets. 

The regrets you do have, won't end up out weighing the accomplishments & you'll be more and more proud of yourself as time goes on. 

Right now you feel secluded, but freedom is never as far away as you feel it is. What you want is as far out as you reach your finger tips. 

Right now you can't see God, but circumstances will re-introduce Him to you. In an even deeper love, and higher satisfaction than you've ever felt before, and that's just the beginning. 

In the next two years, you'll fall hard, and you'll also give all of what you've got to people who can't give you half of who they don't even know they are. 

In another two years from now, that fact will be consigned to oblivion. 

 

Although, never settle for a penny less than you deserve on a single thing: friendships, boyfriends, money you earn, grades you recieve, content you create. Credit always deserves to be given where credit is due. 

Always look both ways, you never know what could come crashing through your intersection of life. 

Never be afraid to cast your opinion, at the age of 16 it's easy to be misunderstood and undermined & you deserve a voice, shout it loud and shout it clear. (seriously, stop mumbling; people have a hard time understanding you) 

Slow down when you speak too, repeating yourself three times doesn't become fun, it really doesn't. 

Two years from now, you'll be a whole new version of yourself, but that girl won't come easy, and she will still face hard times. She'll just face them easier than she did before. 

Confidence is a key to a lot of different success' and facing your anxieties head on can be the hardest and easiest thing you'll ever do for yourself. But cockiness is easy to reach too, always stay humble and be grateful for what you have, and who you are. 

If I was to list off all the things I wish I could've warned you about when I was 16, this could've turned into a book, maybe it might. You're as bright as the sun. And believe that. 

                          xoxo 

               18 year old Victoria 

Testimony: Patience, Praise and Path

As life happens around us, it's hard for us to see God when we're not open to looking for Him. 

When we believe that what we have is enough, God seems to come through; showing us that we deserve even more than what we think is enough. 

Months ago I was really stuck, feeling like I wanted a fresh start in my job. I was sick and tired of the same thing, the same people & feeling like I wasn't appreciated or needed. So as a Christian, I began to pray. Knowing God would satisfy my soul. I would never have to be afraid, because one thing remained. Him. 

I would pray often enough to feel like God wasn't listening to my heart, so I stopped for a time period & would just think about it on and off & hope that God would hear my heart. 

I had never felt so angered in where I was at in my job, and was becoming less willing to work hard, and would often slack (in my own personal opinion) 

When my boss reached out to me asking me to switch stores because I was needed at another location, I didn't want to, but when I said yes, I didn't realize that today I would feel the way I do. Through me changing locations, God was curing the first ache in my heart that craved change, and a different job that I had tried to get for quite a while. That was His first step. 

But the feeling of graciousness and thankfulness did not arrive until yesterday. (After all this happened) 

I worked the make shift, and for me that was the most depressing time in my life, although it was short lived I knew that I needed out of there & was feeling more stuck and more depressed than I ever had, even more than when I was working at the other store. 

I got off of the night shift by praying for Gods grace through asking to be taken off them, and put back to my store (of 3 years) 

I was taken off the shift, but I wasn't transferred back and that upset me, but it wasn't a tragedy and I would live with it while I knew God was teaching me patience. (Psalm 37:7-9, Romans 12:12) 

Three months went by, and I was still feeling this ache in my heart "to go home". I wasn't seeing God, because I wasn't willing to look for Him. While I was busy complaining, God was placing on my heart this feeling of rejoicing to Him. I began to show up to work everyday not working in unhappiness or anger at my manager or co-workers and my environment, I went to work for God, I worked for Him and praised Him through my work, at the job I wasn't happy at & didn't feel appreciated or heard. I worshiped Him because He loves me and I knew He was on my side, and not against me. (Romans 8:31) 

Another month nearly went by, and I praised God with all that I had, and all that I was at my job. Meanwhile unknowingly growing my patience. 

Two days ago, I was told it was time for me to go back to my original store location. I jumped up in my seat, and felt the ache in my heart leave immediately. 

While we're busy being selfish, and not realizing that when we feel doors aren't being opened, Gods just laying out the path in order to satisfy your soul. 

He is always, on your side. Worship Him, because He loves you, and not to get anything in return. He died for you, simply live for Him. And he will satisfy your soul. 

                         xoxo 

                       Victoria