Years over Years

I know my last post had a similar topic, but it is really funny how; when we get older we seem to realize how much things change in so little time. 

How through that time, our God is with us, our God is unshakeable. He never lets us break, even when we think our world has crumbled. 

It's quite humorous how God gets us through things. A year ago to this day I never would've thought that God had this day (a year later) planned for me, but He did.. He really did.

This time last year, I never would've told you I had already applied to college, knew what school I wanted to go to, had a YouTube channel, was juggling relationships, struggles and working full time, while somehow finding the time to blog, vlog and edit. It's a crazy life, and as stupid as it sounds, I love it. 

A year ago I was convincing myself that everything I had around me was good enough, the people I had in my life, the way I was being treated at my job, and the friendships I had that I should've walked away from & I convinced myself that through all of that God didn't need to be by my side. "I got this", I would tell myself. But that's not living, that's fearing. 

So many times we think it's God walking away from us, while we're going through something we need Him through. Truth is, He's there. You're just not looking in the right places. But we're dealing with an unshakeable God, an undenying love, an unbreakable passion.

In Hebrews 12:28 it reads: 

"therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken let us be thankful, and so we worship God acceptably with reverence and awe." 

Gods kingdom does not shake us, nor can it be shaken by anything. Don't blame God on you walking away, remember to look at your life around you. Is there things that can change? Things that will hurt, but be worth it? Are there people who don't deserve your time, but have it? Let God be in control of all that. Take a deep breath, and know: God is with us. Let your years pass, lessons happen & changes take place.

Emmanuel. 

Another Year Gone By...

Each year on the night of my birthday when it's just about to end and I'm praying and thanking God for the beautiful people He's surrounded me with. I take a moment to look back on the last year I lived. I breathe in each memory, moment, smile, tear & begin to realize where God needs me to be.. and that's. right. here. 

In this moment, is exactly where He wants me. To be laying in my bed with my stuffed tiger Angus that I got from my brother & thanking God for the lessons learned, the mistakes, the people, the amazing times and the sad times. Because every single on made up this moment right now. 

Often times, we get so caught up in the year that by the end of it we never realize we were grateful for it all.

 It was hard as hell to live through some of the moments I did, but I had also never been happier in other's. 

It's crazy how one day you can be living it and the next you're rememising about it, and than you realize that memory was 8 years ago and not 10 days ago.. and you realize that you're growing up and you're not even sure you know how to. 

It's the most mind boggling thing to wrap my thoughts around and I know so many of you are with me. 

Jesus' love and forgiveness and healing gives me all the more will to live another year, and that's all I need. 

I don't need a party of a hundred, or posts on my Facebook wall. (although shoutout to the awesome people who did) Because as long I have Him holding me here, and the grace and mercies that come along with Him.. I'm me & I'm set. And that's it. 

I think back a year ago today at nearly midnight and I know I was thankful for the season God had put me through then. I realize seasons change, and the leaves fall and the sun rises and some memories fade away & people come and go. But if you're not grateful for the mistakes, be grateful for the lessons. The Lord put it there for a reason. You're here for a reason. 

Another year, a million more blessings. 

     thank you to anyone who's stuck along                      

    with me. we have many more journeys to     

      venture through. 18 is just the start.❤️

His Better Plan

Growing up, I was never the controlling type. I let things role as they did, and allowed God to have full control of my life.

As you get older you realize you want that "power" in your own hands & you want to call the shots. But when I stop for a moment to think, and pray; I know... God has a bigger and better plan for me. And anything I do to create my own path, will fall through because I'm not the one who's in control, God is and that's what I want. 

Ever think to yourself, maybe I should stop for a breathe and let The Lord lead the way? Not often. And that's because we doubt we'll know where to go or what to do. When it feels right and you're doing what you love, or you feel like it's the best thing to do, that is most likely God leading your way. Though everyone experiences "signs" and direction differently. Because we each have a specific way of communicating with Jesus.

 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105)

No matter where I am, I know Gods word is with me, and I can speak to Him anytime I want. Not just at night before bed, or in the morning before my day starts. I want to do my best for Him daily, and strive to be the best daughter of God that I can be. Although I am sinful, I will not fall down without letting the Lord pick me back up where I fall. I will not lead my own path, because I do not know best. I will honour and obey my God because He loves me and forgives me. 

Never let your heart get tired of loving the Lord, and love Him with the burning passion He's ignited in you. 

(some other verses to check out on letting the Lord lead): 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Psalm 32:8 

Isaiah 58:11

                 THANK YOU, xoxo

Stranger Than Fiction

Often times I catch myself talking very intensely with God, like I'll be praying and just chatting with Him & then I break out into a puddle of tears & whether that's normal for other Christians or not, it's my normal. 

Anyways, I came to praying and talking to God about how I treat people & how others treat me. 

It began with me praying for people in general to start treating me as I deserve.. This sinful, fearful, shameful young girl deserves to be treated in a much better manor than she has. But why? 

The way I treat other people is the same way I'm being treated & that got me thinking.. if I began to give my 100% to everyone- whether you're a stranger on the street, a customer at work, a family member & particularly the people I live with, or someone I highly disliike.. If I create enemies in my heart & I'm not giving 100% of who God made me to be to other people, than what am I doing? 

If I began to give me 100%, I would get 100% back. Whether it's Gods plan to show you 100% from others in the first day, or He blesses you with it 50 days later. You don't know. Sorry. 

But it's Gods hope you show HIS love to others. And at this point in my life, I believe that if you give that, you'll get it in return no matter the time or day. You deserve to be loved regardless of who you are and what you've done & you will find what your heart is aching for. And that's coming from a girl who is still at the "hoping for the hope in the hard place" stage. 

Who am I to say I deserve to be treated better when I'm not sure I know how to treat people either? who are you to do the same? 

For me it was time to put down the fiction and come to realize life has a reality to it & we need to stop treating people like characters in a book, as if they'll just forgive us and move on that's not real life & as much as I wish it was.. it's not. 

This just really hit my heart tonight & I had to share it. Feeling so empty, and wondering why; leads you to a million different thoughts, but if you can branch it off and then find the root; you'll have a brand new life goal in no time & I want nothing more than to give what I'm receiving and vise-versa. 

I pray and have hope you'll do the same in your daily walk. 

Thanks so much for reading. Have an amazing rest of your day & God bless you!! <3 ❤️💜 

Addiction & Forgivness

I know that so many of us have addictions. They alter depending on each person. I know I'm addicted to cellular activity, I'm addicted to makeup, youtube, I'm addicted to thoughts & always wanting something to do but hardly finding time to fit it into my schedule. As of right now I'm addicted at looking at colleges & knowing exactly where I want to go.. 

Addictions in life like I said a moment ago, vary from person to person & they can be worse or smaller. 

Sin is all the same to God, as is addiction. Everyone is equal to God, we're all sinners no matter the depth in human eyes & opinions. So why hide what is right in front of you everyday? 

Addiction is so easy to pass over, yeah I go on my phone ALL.THE.TIME. 

And yes I think until I cry, and yes I watch YouTube videos until the website crashes.. But those "small" addictions are equally as sinful in Gods eyes as pornography, drugs, drinking, cutting. Or anything else the world would consider to be "worse then theirs".

But what are we addicted to in God that makes us go back so often? What do we find so attractive about God? What makes us cling to that hope He instills in us to follow Him? 

His forgiveness. 

We come back to Him because we know He listens although He isn't physically visual, we go back to Him because He will love us no matter what, when the addiction gets boring or no one loves you anymore.. You realize for even a split moment, Jesus' love is better than what the world offers. (John 16:33: 

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”) 

In conclusion to what I'm trying to make as short as I can, Gods forgiveness and love should be our addictions & addiction is hard to overcome, and it starts with being accountable to your sins. 

I'm leaving a link to a book that I have that will help on your journey through addiction. please go check it out!

(Addiction & Grace By Gerald G. May)  http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0061122432?pc_redir=1411891584&robot_redir=1

Who are you?

Something the Christian mind is rare to grasp, is the knowledge of knowing who you are in Christ.. 

Even those words are hard to take in (for me at least) who am I in my Lord Jesus? What do I represent? what do I do in my daily walk to honour, praise & love Him? Who. Am I. In my Heavenly Father? 

That's somethig that for some people can take years to come to. It takes trials, heartache, challenges & lots of soul searching, and honoring and loving God to figure it out, and for people it may always change. He may always have something new in store for you, I'm not the one who knows that. 

But, in saying all this. Do you know who you are in your Father? Has he made you who you're suposed to be, or are you still learning? Are you living for Him and in search for your purpose? If you're loving and living for Him, that's where you'll find it; that's where you'll find yourself. 

It's hard to say who I am in Christ sometimes, and how valued I am in Him that I really am. How loved I am, and how as a Christian; I am a child of Gods. 

John 1:12 I am God's child.

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" 

Romans 5:8 "

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

- Galatians 2:20

- Ephesians 2:4-5 

There are so many verses I can name off, and so many for you to read. Open your bible today, and keep searching for who you are in Christ. You're his to unfold, and you're His child to be loved. Never let that leave your heart, and open your heart for more. You are and will be, who you're supposed to be. 

                     xoxo Victoria 

Free Will

Many people struggle with the thought behind "well why would God have me do this, or allow this person to die, or let this happen to me?" I have one main thing on my heart right now & that's free will. 

God created us with free will (self-choice) because He wanted us to love Him without force, because Love is patient, love is kind & it isn't forced upon us. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) We choose who we love, we choose what we do each day, we choose who we dislike, because God gave us the free will to do so. He never created us to forcefully love Him. 

When God set Adam & Eve in the garden, He gave them a choice & asked of them only one thing not to eat. (From the tree of knowledge) and they disobeyed because of self choice & temptation. (Genesis 3) 

Because God gave us free will, temptation exists and we create sin. Something God never wanted, but was created through Eve's sinful act, which then created separation from God. 

When making choices, we need to remember who created choices in the beginning & He never wanted us to not know Him, or sin against Him, but we do and we have. 

In Christ there is forgiveness, and refuge & love. We just have to seek to believe, to love & to know Him. 

The free will and choice to love Him because He loved me without difficulty from the begging & through my sin, was the best choice I ever made. He loves you even though you struggle and even though you have sinned. You are forgiven, set yourself free from burden. Because He's already set you free. 

      Praise Him because God is good! 

                       I love you! 

                          Xoxo 

Shine the Light

You toss and turn around, struggling to open your eyes, to this brand new day. You finally let your blue eyes meet the day and God did not wake you up today to have another "good" day, another ordinary day of getting by. 

He woke you up this morning to make a difference, to live for Him & to be the light.  

Matthew 5:16

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." 

Each day we live is a new day to manifest The Lord and teach people what He did for us. 

One of the best lines I've ever heard is "if it's good news to share, you won't mind sharing it". The good news of our saviour and what He did on that cross for us, is the most exciting news in the world, and it's the only thing God wants us to do for what He did for us. Just share the gospel with the world, share his Love and have people know the amazing news!

A lot of times, people who don't believe or who aren't Christians think that you're supposed to feel  something different & sometimes people do, and sometimes people don't, it's all on how you connect with God (The Holy Spirit). But the feeling is living for him, and being the light in the world for him because of His sacrafice. 

I find it quite fair that that's all we do is love Him back, because he loves us so unconditionally. 

Jesus is Love. And Real Love can live within us, all if we let it! 

Shine your light today. 

Gift of Life

One of my favourite quotes is from my favourite writer, and it is part of a really cool YouTube video (I'll link it below) on a message to his daughter. 

"You are literally a living breathing human being with a heart, brain, creativity, intuition & more! How awesome & rad is that!?" 

You have been blessed with this amazing gift of breathing, finding your place in this world... Which trust me, I know isn't easy. 

We're constantly drifting from who we think we are & what we need to be, but maybe that's not Gods plan for your life. 

The gift of life is a beautiful thing. God didn't design life for us to give up on it, or scare others with the thought of them being without us, or sitting on our couch watching repeats of addictive television shows. We were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) for God to use us in our everyday lives for the better of other people & Gods works to have the whole world see His love for each of us. 

His plan is ultimately greater than anybody can imagine, and that doesn't mean it will be 'great' the whole way through. There will be challeneges & heartache & tears & anger & resentment & the scariest decisions you'll ever make. He never said it would be easy, but I'm telling you that from know what His love feels like, it's beyond worth it. 

A lot of people lose who they are during life's trials & hard days. We're put on trial and tested to see the hardest parts of life, to be at our weakest; so that God can show us how strong and amazing He  is, to show us how strong we can be, but also how weak we can be without Him. 

That's where the easy days slip, and where I'm justifying my statement of "it's not always going to be easy, but it'll be worth it". 

Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." 

God has you here right now for a reason, you're going through everything you're going through because it's His plan to have you go through it. You'll make decisions (sometimes the wrong ones) you'll learn the hard way, you'll lose people you love, meet new ones who will only be in your life for a lesson, there will be the people who stick with you & show you Gods love in a way you wouldn't imagine, and there will be the people God brings into your life to stay. You just have to let Him, let him love you & allow Him into your heart; to prove to you that all that is within you is worth it. 

The Gift of Life is amazing, you don't have to be one bit perfect at living it, you just have to know who to live for. 

                    xoxo Victoria 

Jeffersons video: http://youtu.be/DHxTlmpZAPk

My other blog: http://teenthoughtsforyou.blogspot.ca/?m=1 

Instagram: http://instagram.com/victoriahiggins11 

Business Inquiries/ advice email: 

thoughts.feelings.blogged@gmail.com 

Forgiveness is My Own

Regret is more often than not, unplanned, unwanted & unneeded in our own opinions. But regret happens and it forms us, and helps us see the better in life (most times) if you look in the right places, you'll find blessings through error: 

To the point, I have come to realize that God never stops handing out his love. He will never be able to give you enough of his endless love, even when you've run scarce, fled from His word & his will and lived for yourself.. Sometimes you really can only learn the hard way. 

In more ways than I can count, I regret a lot of things I've done as a person, as a teenager and as a christian. I often feel as though I have failed God, like he will never stop being disappointed in me and won't want to bless me because I truly don't deserve it from all the mistakes I've made. 

Thing is, God loves you endlessly and unconditionally, and in a way that He can and will not ever stop pouring His blessings out to you. 

Before this past month, I never would've realized that through the experiences that cause you to let go of people who aren't meant to be in your life, God takes ultimate control and holds your hand and protects your heart & His never ending healing process is forever within you. Having your regrets and mistakes made into reasons for Him to want to bless you, reasons for you to believe in Him more, reasons to call out to Him more & to see that you are so much better off in Gods name and word than staying in a situation where you feel like you can't even hear Him anymore. 

Grace is never handed to you on a silver platter with a side of scrumptious purple grapes... but the freedom in finding grace and knowing you belong to Christ through having people you once loved removed from your life is one of the most eye opening experience you can encounter. 

You don't have to keep yourself in bad company to realize you'd be better off without them. God wants you to lean onto Him, for guidance and help. Even when your cry out is a whisper & a shout into the void, it's heard & He knows your heart & what YOU deserve. He will provide. 

A time in my life, where I feel like my cry was mediocre, and quiet... it was heart felt and loud to God. 

Your heart never stops feeling what your mind tells it not to, and God knows both better than you know it. 

Finding peace in error and forgiveness in regrets is like letting 10,000 bricks fall off your shoulders and taking a step back from them to look at what you've been made of, and what has made you who you are. 

It's never going to be immediately that you notice a new change happening in your life, but God has this amazing plan for you, for you to realize that He is enough, He loves you & He forgives you. He sets you free from mistakes and loves you with a steadfast love. 

What is yet to create you is still ahead & there are errors ahead, and possibly regrets.. but never stop believing God knows your heart & will forever be by your side through it all, even when you don't know He is.  

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Isaiah 1:18

"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

1 Timothy 1:15-16

15 "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."

          Thank you, love you guys! <3

Life in Boxes

Now, I know all of you reading aren't in the process of moving from one town to another; but I've put a lot of silly little thoughts into it, and came up with the wacky idea that each box I unload into my new bedroom, is a step taken in life.
I haven't taken the second to count how many boxes I have, but as I've cut the tape from each one and revealed what I had packed away for a month and a half, I see a whole new opening in life. Each box representing where I've been, where I'll go and who I'll become. I am the type to look back on things, and I'm quite the sentimental type, so it's hard for me to do this all.
I haven't even quite hit the fact that I will never be sleeping in my old bedroom ever again, and that's hard enough. I opened a box of books today, and put them onto my old black shelf, I love reading and that box to me, represented continuation. I can move on, continue forward, and start my new beginning- just like you start a book, but a good book never truly ends..
I opened a second box, and it represented blessings. I know that's so beyond broad, but it showed to me that this new home, this new start and all these boxes.. are a blessing in the rough, a blessing in the loss of 30 pounds from lifting, and the amount of muscles I've gained in the past 24 hours.

 Each day is a new day to start fresh from, unload another step, and move another mountain.
Although you may not be unloading boxes, what're the life steps you're unloading or the blessings you have in your life? What do you need to remind yourself of today, and how has God giving you grace and love today?
Life is always going to be a pile of boxes, we just have to remember which ones are worth looking through. (if that made any metaphorical sense) Which memories are worth keeping and what we need to let go of.
It's been a busy few days for me, so I apologize if it was too short, or not enough inspiration. But thanks for reading, leave a comment below, let me know what you think and keep smiling! :)

 

Quick Inspiration

As I look around this class room, I look at each person & I think about my soul; how deep it is and how much God loves me. Then I think about each individuals hearts and minds and how deep their souls are & that most of them don't know Jesus. I see that they don't understand the love of God because their focused on so many other things. But it's so crazy to think of how complex each person in this rooms heart and minds and souls are & yet God always has time for us. He never leaves one of us out, whether we know how or not. 

He loves YOU even though you don't know, he cares about YOU even though you don't feel like he does. He sees you. Sees your heart & loves you completely. 

I can't sit here and try to convince you that you're loved. But I can hope and pray for the best for your life & pray God opens your mind and heart and has you see his love for you. Open your mind, you may just see things that change your life. 

Welcome to the Planet

"Welcome to the planet, welcome to existence. everyone's here, everyone's here. Everybody's watching you now, everybody waits for you now. What happens next, what happens next?"

So what does happen next? 

When we're born our life is pretty much splashed out in front of us. You're born, learn to walk, talk, then it's potty training & everything else babies "should be learning" and you do funny things older people laugh at and think are cute.

Then it's bikes, school & making friends. It's all layed ahead of you though.

You eventually have to go to school to have the grades to go to college/uni to get a career & once you get the career you pay off the debt that going through school to get the career gave you. Little silly if you ask me. 

It's already said before you're alive what you'll do, but no one knows what you'll do with what you get. Some are fortunate enough to have all that handed to them, others face challenges that test their daily walk through life. 

What do you do with what you have? 

Today I challenge you to do one thing with what God gave you. I know that's quite broad, but if you just thought of something I must have said something right. 

Whether it's an ability God blessed you with, a skill, fortune, your advice, education, something that can and will alter someone's day through the grace of God. 

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for The Lord and not for men." Colossians 3:23 

I dare you to move.  

http://youtu.be/uw018L6KOaY

The Hands

As weird as this concept may be, I'm sitting here staring at my hands. 

The marks, lines, seeing the daily struggle they endure, just by being my hands. 

The day before last I was at work & I broke a coffee pot in my hands, I have scratch marks from that, I have hang nails & chewed tiny bitter nails. Nervous habit. But yet, I still go everyday using them the same as I would any other time. 

God uses our hands to tell a story, to create who we are. If you look at your hands right now, what story would they tell? 

There will be sin, there will be celebration & there will be scars. 

Job 17:9 says: 

"Yet the righteous holds to his way, and he who has clean hands grows stronger and stronger."

No, not everyone's hands are clean, not everyone can even endure life with hands. But let them tell your story, whether you're with or without them, let God also use your hands to do good, to be pure, to tell your testimony. 

When you look at your hands today, see them with eyes of inspiration, knowledge of the past & the knowing what the future can hold for you. What God needs you to hold in your hands to live out his will. 

With the hands of The Lord on your life, you can and will be stronger and stronger. 

So let your hands praise him, you were fearfully and wonderfully made! 

1 Timothy 5:22

James 5:13 

Isaiah 41:10