It sometimes takes a long time for someone who suffered from depression to realize what they're worth. It can be a walk we take, a nap we have with some crazy dream, or as I hilariously put last time, a shower- that can change our outlook on life.
The same shower that I mentioned in my last [Part 1] post:
( http://christianteengirlzz.blogspot.ca/2015/12/the-happy-project-part-1.html) is the same shower that showed me something extraordinary that can lead to incredible happiness.
As mediocre as you may think I will sound in these next words, I believe it's a technique that will lead me to my fullest self. Little things in your day, and week can lead to a spiritual growth, and can be a depression shrinker!
As I realized earlier amidst the shampoo, happiness is the little things. Things like:
- reading a chapter of a book once a day (I request Spoken For by Robin Jones Gunn & Alyssa Bethke)
- Next, paint your nails.Whether it be for 2 days or 9 weeks; make them look pretty and stop biting them!
- Make a goal to buy yourself something nice, small or medium sized once every two weeks off of your pay and save for something big you really want. Make goals, fun goals and do something for you.
- Reorganize your room. Now this one may sound silly for those lazy people out there. But I did it the other day, without moving any furniture, and I feel more organized and zen and it added to my happiness and contentment.
- Hang inspiring signs in your space (bedroom, bathroom living room, etc) I have signs all over my bedroom that inspire me to keep going. Things like "Faith is being sure of what you hope for", "Collect moments, not things" "Dream"and "Life is a beautiful ride". Because it's things like this that when I'm feeling down and I feel like no one else is there, I know God is letting me know I'll get through.
- Listen to worship music and or upbeat songs! This is one of the best things I do to feel whole, and to feel more myself. I put headphones in, or wait till no ones home and I crank the worship and Justin Bieber and I dance around the house singing His praises, and maybe a little bit of Sorry and What Do You Mean ;) I give it to God through worship, and that helps my happiness.
- Finally, binge watch Grey's Anatomy or Friends. Cause there's no way you can go wrong there.
Wednesday 30 December 2015
The Happy Project [Part 1]
For a while now I have suffered from a form of depression even I have trouble describing.
I have mood swings, I define my personality as "miserable", and I allowed myself to be convinced that that's who I am, and "I'll just have to live with it"... Little did I know, I've been so wrong.
If I'm going to be completely honest with you, I'm going to say I was in the shower this evening and had one of those typical "shower thoughts", only it was the Lord speaking to me; odd timing, I know.
I have convinced myself my disease or whatever you want to call it, was me. That this miserable, cursing, lonely, sad, mopey person was who I am.. But tonight the Lord informed me that this isn't who I am to be, and that it's only the person I allowed myself to be.
I remember the kindred spirit of a little girl I was, I was shy but inside I felt so much more than I said. I was quiet, and timid, and my heart was beating for God.
But when I was little and there would be special services for people who didn't know Jesus I would always accept the Lord as my Saviour, again and again because I thought it wasn't good enough that I did it once, and the teachers in Sunday School who knew me and knew my parents would always look at me funny because they knew I knew Jesus, and probably thought I was confused, or forgot. I never did forget, I just wanted to make sure God knew I loved Him, so I would prove it time and time again. Until one day I realized, it isn't the amount of times I re-accept Him into my heart, because He will always be there from day one until the end of time. He loves me so profusely, that He would send His son, to die for me. Me. Me?
Yeah, me.
It's insane sometimes that through depression we can be convinced we're who were supposed to be, that we're stuck this way; then we realize God has something so much bigger and better for us than this. than that. than her.
The Victoria I am, and the person you can be, is the little happy soul of a little girl or boy you were. The girl I want to be again and I aim to be everyday, is the little girl who realized that she didn't need to keep on asking for God to love her, and to accept Him into her heart, but the one who knew He would stay there forever. Forever.
Regardless of the circumstances we're under, no matter how far we've gone; it can be the 20 minutes you spend in the shower that can change the outlook you have on your life, God and how much He loves you. Profoundly, deeply. loves. YOU.
I have mood swings, I define my personality as "miserable", and I allowed myself to be convinced that that's who I am, and "I'll just have to live with it"... Little did I know, I've been so wrong.
If I'm going to be completely honest with you, I'm going to say I was in the shower this evening and had one of those typical "shower thoughts", only it was the Lord speaking to me; odd timing, I know.
I have convinced myself my disease or whatever you want to call it, was me. That this miserable, cursing, lonely, sad, mopey person was who I am.. But tonight the Lord informed me that this isn't who I am to be, and that it's only the person I allowed myself to be.
I remember the kindred spirit of a little girl I was, I was shy but inside I felt so much more than I said. I was quiet, and timid, and my heart was beating for God.
But when I was little and there would be special services for people who didn't know Jesus I would always accept the Lord as my Saviour, again and again because I thought it wasn't good enough that I did it once, and the teachers in Sunday School who knew me and knew my parents would always look at me funny because they knew I knew Jesus, and probably thought I was confused, or forgot. I never did forget, I just wanted to make sure God knew I loved Him, so I would prove it time and time again. Until one day I realized, it isn't the amount of times I re-accept Him into my heart, because He will always be there from day one until the end of time. He loves me so profusely, that He would send His son, to die for me. Me. Me?
Yeah, me.
It's insane sometimes that through depression we can be convinced we're who were supposed to be, that we're stuck this way; then we realize God has something so much bigger and better for us than this. than that. than her.
The Victoria I am, and the person you can be, is the little happy soul of a little girl or boy you were. The girl I want to be again and I aim to be everyday, is the little girl who realized that she didn't need to keep on asking for God to love her, and to accept Him into her heart, but the one who knew He would stay there forever. Forever.
Regardless of the circumstances we're under, no matter how far we've gone; it can be the 20 minutes you spend in the shower that can change the outlook you have on your life, God and how much He loves you. Profoundly, deeply. loves. YOU.
Sunday 27 December 2015
Never Enough of God...
"Hungry, I come to you; for I know You satisfy. I am empty, but I know your love does not run dry."
Often in life our satisfaction is never filled, we can never have enough money, we never feel happy with our mediocre job, we never have enough time in the day to do what we want, but there is one thing I know for sure, and that is that there is never enough time spent with God, and theres no limit to the amount of Him you can have. As Christians we should always want more, and I want to be never satisfied with the amount of God that I have, I always want to want more of Him.
“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:5-8)
“My soul is consumed with longing for your laws at all times… My soul faints with longing for your salvation” (Psalm 119:20, 81)
As we grow older, we learn more. We seek more wisdom and knowledge, and we are curious. In Luke 2:40, it says "And the child (being Jesus) grew and became strong, filled with wisdom. And the favour of God was upon Him". This verse was in my church sermon this morning, and it hit me hard, because I thought that Jesus was born into the world knowing everything, God gave him everything he needed and he was as smart as could be, but realizing Jesus had things to learn about, and grow wisdom through, has me seeing that its okay to not know everything, and its okay to learn, and most of all, its its amazing to know Jesus was the same way.
We still have things to learn, and by grace through faith we will.
As we grow and learn in this life, may we realize that as it says in Philippians 2:15, to be lights in the world, in a twisted and crooked generation; that we could shine the light of God and learn wisdom through His leading, and His will.
If you may learn anything from this short blog post, let it be to never not want more of God, be hungry always for Him, follow His leading, and know that learning wisdom and growing more understanding is being just like Jesus. Provided it's in His will for your life, and you do it by His great name. And to be lights in this dark world.
God bless, Merry belated Christmas!
xoxo
Sunday 20 December 2015
To My Best Friend
To my best friend, we aren't the type who want to go shopping every weekend, we aren't the type to skype call when Vampire Diaries is on, we aren't the type to gossip and we sure aren't into girly drama, and my favourite part, we don't have to text every day to be as close as we are. 
Some friendships are a once in a life time sorta thing, and I believe that's what we have. We get cheesy and corny with each other, and we know each other's deep emotions without having to cry about it, or even speak in order for the other person to understand we're deeply hurt or upset about the topic.
When we get together it doesn't matter what we do, it could be driving to our spot & talking, baking puppy chow (that I forget to add the butter into) or playing board games with the family- there's never a dull moment and there's never a time where we don't pick up right where we left off.
I don't think I thank you enough for all that you are for me. You're my right hand, you're my go to😉;) you're my taxi, my beckon call, you're the person I tell everything to, and I trust you with my life.
Thank you for "nigga beats®", and "bud", & "fart hole nigga", thank you for always being down to sit in Timmies and play Mad-Libs with me, thanks for letting me have the last bite, thank you for telling me I deserve better, thanks for putting up with my stories & understanding my heart. Thank you for believing in me, and giving me hope that my decisions are the right ones. Thank you for not being bossy, but telling me how it is when I need to hear it.
Thank you for commenting my name on hilarious Facebook posts and thank you for hating life with me. Thanks for agreeing to disagree, and thanks for calling me when you're bored. Thank you, for being my person. I will always be yours.
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