Self Worth + Your Love Story

In 2k15, it is so beyond me how people find their self worth, or how they think their self worth is defined and where they search for it. especially women. it saddens my heart to know there are teen girls, and teens becoming adults who seek after men like they need to seek after the lord. 

We so often “need to look pretty for him!” and “he cant come over until i have at least mascara on!” and we think we need to be on our A game in every aspect before he can see or talk to us, and its this crazy infatuation we have with constantly needing to be good enough, and always thinking we need to say the right thing and be the right version of ourselves; when really thats all pointless and our self worth is found in Jesus. 

He payed such a price for us to love Him and cherish him. 

God says “you are my treasured possession, my peculiar treasure” (Exodus 19:5) and he wants you more than anyone, or anything ever will. 

its always been so hard for me to comprehend that, until i came into an encounter with love. To come into a spiritual encounter with the father. and worship music is great for that. But the real question is, when you're all by yourself- can you encounter the father? can you encounter love? 

i encountered this after i had experienced some deep hurt, i was sitting in my room glooming about it and i began to cry. My heart hurt, and i wanted nothing more than to be anywhere but here. Suddenly i fell to the floor from my desk chair, and cried out to The Lord. I was feeling such pain, but in the same moment God held me in his loving arms and embraced me, and told me who i was: His. 

Pain isn't instantly taken away every time, but with The Lord 

To understand that God truly, completely loves us is insane to fathom. Honestly, i sometimes have a hard time even thinking He exists- “where’s God?” but we only question that when we’re not investing time in Him. All relationships are two way streets, and we cant expect God to be both sides of it!

I am in a constantly changing, and growing relationship with Jesus Christ; i have known Jesus loved me since a very young age, but its taken me until i was eighteen and a couple dozen bad life experiences to realize what love is. Love is Jesus. Love is the price he payed for me on that cross. He payed such an incredible price…and all He wants back for that, is our love, and our hearts. 

I’ve come notice, i am one of the strongest people i know, but its through Jesus that I am. I recently started my freshman year of college, and i noticed myself caving. i didn't let myself think too much about it, because i knew if i did pain would follow, and regret and.. and conviction. Thats the scary one. You finally feel bad about it, because The Lord is revealing Himself in your heart. My strength through situations is Gods love and His promises. Even though i made mistakes, He held me closer than anyone ever could, and continued to write our love story by finding me in my hard place, and calling me to him. 

God is constantly writing your love story, always. He is always seeking your heart and craving your love. He can never get enough of you, and His love is breath taking, unfathomable and beyond our comprehension. He sees us in our worst, and makes us look our best. He loves us in happy times, and loves us in bad times. He sees our hurt, and holds us in his embrace. 

Psalm 34:18 “When you are brokenhearted, i am close to you”

5 Things To Know About People Who Suffer From Anxiety

5 things to know about people who suffer from anxiety:

1. we can’t relax when you tell us to. - sorry what? Im quite positive my lungs feel like they’re about to cave in, and my heart feels like its popping out of my chest, but yah know; telling me to relax will fix that in no time!
2. don’t tell us its okay - i know you’re trying to make me feel better and all but I’m not okay. I’m sweating and blacking out and as much as we both wish it was okay, it isn’t. Sometimes its best to just not say anything and rub my back and be silent.
3. We have our good and bad days, our good and bad moments and our awful aching hours. but we’re happy people. 
4. There are so many different types of anxiety that doctors probably don’t even understand or know about-from situational anxiety all the way to the generically known stress anxiety and panic attacks. Everyones different and everyone reacts and relaxes differently. We may have the same type of anxiety but were two different people. No one is the same especially with anxiety. 
5. Not even we understand it.- When you ask us why were having an anxiety most times (especially for myself) we don’t know, it just.. happens. and we deal with it in the moment. 

The Lord says to cast all anxieties onto him, which through my anxiety i have learned is all i can do. I’ve given my anxiety to the lord in my moments of attacks, and struggles to the best of my abilities. 

The most generic verse i could give you that says what i just said but in 1 Peter 5:7 “cast all your anxiety onto Him because He cares for you.”

Isaiah 40:31says this:

“but those who hope i the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”

What that says to me, is those who wait upon the lord and serve him will have all their anxiety, pain and suffering will have it be renewed in Him and replaced with love, strength, and assurance. 

Matthew 6:34- “therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own"

If I give it to The Lord, its the one thing i know will keep me sane. Breathe through each moment, gather it all in, and make the most of each breathe you take and be grateful for it. Because anxiety is just a thing, a thing we can deal with and cast onto The Lord. 

                                                                                 xoxo